Neighbor Problem

cubby:  I agree with Eliz and Cody - first, talk to them as nicely as you can about the problem and hopefully it will resolve the issue.  I say as nicely as you can, because if this were building up inside me for 2 years I'd have a hard time speaking nicely.  I understand how frustrating this must be, sorry.

I usually don't get involved in these discussions but I'm going to have to agree with starsong on this one.  OP was asking for help for something that clearly bothers him or her. While it may not be something that would bother you, it doesn't mean they're not allowed to be annoyed by it. We all have little things in life that annoy us to no end.  Instead of offering constructive advice, all you've done is belittle and criticize them.  Given that you've posted on MOL for advice on a myriad of situations and people have offered empathy, compassion and help, I would think you could offer the same in return.  

conandrob240 said:

what on earth does advice and support during a natural disaster have to do with someone being called out for being ridiculous about a mattress being put out at the curb? 

what information should I be providing? I already shared some scenarios where this person might be having their mattress picked up. As for "kindness"- I didn't realize this was a life or death situation that needed compassion. Personally, I think the kindness should go the other way to the neighbor- people put out a mattress for christs sake. Give them a day or two to have it picked up before you start acting so deeply troubled.

you must have missed a few threads of mine if that's your overall conclusion

My advice was to consider a myriad of possibilities for pick up, give it a day or so to see if those possibilities came to fruition and if not, then offer the neighbor advice on how to get bulk items picked up. And to stop being so petty over a mattress put out for takeaway.

Hope cubby lets us know what happens.

Perseverance said:

I usually don't get involved in these discussions but I'm going to have to agree with starsong on this one.  OP was asking for help for something that clearly bothers him or her. While it may not be something that would bother you, it doesn't mean they're not allowed to be annoyed by it. We all have little things in life that annoy us to no end.  Instead of offering constructive advice, all you've done is belittle and criticize them.  Given that you've posted on MOL for advice on a myriad of situations and people have offered empathy, compassion and help, I would think you could offer the same in return.  

conandrob240 said:

what on earth does advice and support during a natural disaster have to do with someone being called out for being ridiculous about a mattress being put out at the curb? 

what information should I be providing? I already shared some scenarios where this person might be having their mattress picked up. As for "kindness"- I didn't realize this was a life or death situation that needed compassion. Personally, I think the kindness should go the other way to the neighbor- people put out a mattress for christs sake. Give them a day or two to have it picked up before you start acting so deeply troubled.

Preservance: very kind words. Fortunately, while I enjoy getting feedback on MOL, I really don't give a rat's *** what conanrob thinks of me.

Just as I predicted, the mattress has not been picked up and still sits at the bottom of their drive. If they don't mind all kinds of crap in their drive, it's ok with me; I just don't want it in the street in front of my house. (And based on experience I knew it would be out for days.)

I'll point them in the right direction with regards to town rules for disposal of junk and I'll do it nicely 'cause I'm hardly "deeply troubled" over this.

cubby, I don't think anything of you as I don't know you. I think getting upset about a matttress that was placed out for pick up is silly. And I strongly doubt someone who has lived here for 2 years would just think it's going to get taken away. I still think they have made arrangements (clearly not quickly enough for you) but it's nice of you to provide info on their options if you think it's just going to sit there forever.

Ugh. Sorry it still hasn't been picked up.  I would also be annoyed by this.  I'm with what others have suggested.  Go talk to your neighbors when you're not so annoyed.  Hopefully they just lack self awareness and weren't aware of what they're doing and the behavior changes.  I know I'd want a neighbor to let me know if I was unintentionally doing something that bothered them.  However, if they're the kind that just don't give a **** then you have to decide if you want to start dealing with code enforcement given that they'll know it's you.

cubby said:

Perseverance said:

I usually don't get involved in these discussions but I'm going to have to agree with starsong on this one.  OP was asking for help for something that clearly bothers him or her. While it may not be something that would bother you, it doesn't mean they're not allowed to be annoyed by it. We all have little things in life that annoy us to no end.  Instead of offering constructive advice, all you've done is belittle and criticize them.  Given that you've posted on MOL for advice on a myriad of situations and people have offered empathy, compassion and help, I would think you could offer the same in return.  

conandrob240 said:

what on earth does advice and support during a natural disaster have to do with someone being called out for being ridiculous about a mattress being put out at the curb? 

what information should I be providing? I already shared some scenarios where this person might be having their mattress picked up. As for "kindness"- I didn't realize this was a life or death situation that needed compassion. Personally, I think the kindness should go the other way to the neighbor- people put out a mattress for christs sake. Give them a day or two to have it picked up before you start acting so deeply troubled.

Preservance: very kind words. Fortunately, while I enjoy getting feedback on MOL, I really don't give a rat's *** what conanrob thinks of me.

Just as I predicted, the mattress has not been picked up and still sits at the bottom of their drive. If they don't mind all kinds of crap in their drive, it's ok with me; I just don't want it in the street in front of my house. (And based on experience I knew it would be out for days.)




I'll point them in the right direction with regards to town rules for disposal of junk and I'll do it nicely 'cause I'm hardly "deeply troubled" over this.

I'd be really bothered too. No reason to have to look at that. Grrrr!