Cowboys Nation 2014 - Romo Denied MVP - Lawsuit pending?

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I think hitchhiking is illegal in Texas, isn't it?

Advice from a wise man...

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Woot said:

Don't ask Jason Garrett for change for a dollar. You'll likely only get 3 quarters.

Woot said:

I'd check the Cowboys website, but they dont have a website. Apparently, no one in their organization can string 3 "W"s together.

case, Woot's giving you a run for the money.

TomR

Not really Tom R - Just providing some assistance to Case - who appears to be on a mission.

Absolutely - but honestly... there's just a never-ending supply of material. Look at it this way: it takes the Cowboys 53 men (plus coaches) to generate the absurd and humiliating performances known as Dallas Cowboys football. How can I keep up with all that by myself? I welcome any and all help I can get here.

That's part of what makes this country great - honestly, it's why America is the best country in the entire world... we work together and we know that we're the best. Its not like Asia or Europe - we're a REAL country.

Incidentally:

One day an exchange student from a backwards European country arrived in the US as a student teacher. Wanting to fit in with her students she asked her host family about American Football (not to be confused with the frog version of football played by little girls in skirts). Unfortunately for her she was in Texas, so her host family told her all about the best team in the whole history of the game: the Dallas Cowboys. (The host family neglected to provide dates, however).

On the first day of school this young European girl explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboys fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboys fans. Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?' Because I'm not a Cowboys fan,' she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Cowboys fan, then who are you a fan of?' 'I am a Packers fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Packers fan?' "Because my mom is a Packers fan, and my dad is Packers fan, so I'm a Packers fan too!"

"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Packers fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?' "Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Cowboys fan.'

Case,

I think Ligeti is exhausted. The Cowboys have left their supporters without even a fig leaf.

I was chatting with someone yesterday (a very funny, very loud older gentleman at a Subway sandwich shop) and we spoke about a variety of things for about 10 minutes. He got onto the topic of football and the ass-whoopin the Cowboys took. (just to be clear, the MOST RECENT ass whoopin).

He identified himself as a Cowboys fan (as I said, he was an older gentleman - you'd have to be pretty old to still be a Cowboys fan). He said something so interesting... "I hope we get knocked out. I don't want to go into the playoffs with this team - we face a solid team and it's going to be a bloodbath".

I agreed with him and left - but it got me thinking... I am now rooting for the Cowboys to 'sweep' their last two games (such as they are) and get into the playoffs. Sure, the losses to teams with 2nd, 3rd and 4th string quarterbacks have been amusing. But what if the Cowboys play an honestly good team? Think of the humor potential there!

GO COWBOYS! Err... yee ha? Yippie kai yay? I'm not sure what Dallas fans would say... ummm... 'build a wall on the border of Mexico'?

Damn, I hate it when I do this:

"Remember the Alamo.... and remember our Championship Dallas Cowboys!"

What IS it about being associated with the Cowboys and being disassociated from reality? I wonder if Jerry Jones eschews computers and insists on using legal pads? Does Jerry own a cell phone? Since he's rich I assume he doesn't cut his own lawn but if he did - would he be able to figure out how to put gas in the mower? When Jerry works out at the geriatric clinic does he imagine that women are checking him out? Like "Rain Man" Dustin Hoffman, does Jerry believe that he is "an excellent driver"?

I'm glad that Jerry acknowledges his Cowboys are more about "great entertainment" than "playing football"... but still! This level of delusion is epic.

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http://cowboysblog.dallasnews.com/2013/12/jerry-jones-blame-linebacker-injuries-not-tony-romo-for-dallas-cowboys-loss-to-green-bay.html/

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said Tuesday morning that wild finishes like his team experienced Sunday against Green Bay make for “an exciting time” and “great entertainment.”

If you need to be reminded, the Cowboys led 26-3 at halftime and 29-10 midway through the third quarter before losing 37-36.

Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo threw a pair of interceptions in the final minutes, aiding the Packers’ improbable victory. But Jones didn’t blame Romo for the loss during his weekly radio appearance on 105.3 The Fan [KRLD-FM].

No, Jones said the team’s seventh loss of the season largely occurred because of the vast number of injuries to the team’s linebackers.

“We had to quit doing things on defense that we had been doing,” Jones said. “That compromised us.”

Would Ernie Sims and Justin Durant at full strength made that much of a difference? Sean Lee and Bruce Carter didn’t dress and Jones didn’t seem to have high expectations for the defense before the game started.

“We weren’t going to count on getting any stops as we went into the ballgame,” Jones said. “That’s not being negative. It’s just a strategy.”

But just as it sounded like Jones was about to put the remainder of the season on the team’s offense, he dropped this line: “If we can get our defense patched up here, we’ve got a chance to really do something this year.”

Yes, Jones was talking about the Cowboys defense that ranks last in the NFL, giving up 427 yards per game. The same defense that has allowed backup quarterbacks Matt Flynn and Josh McCown to throw for 647 yards, eight touchdowns and one interception the last two weeks.

But back to Romo. Jones had no problem with his franchise quarterback checking out of a run play on one of his interceptions. The Cowboys owner was all for his team throwing despite having a five-point lead with 4:17 to play.

“With us not being able to stop them, we didn’t want to give them the ball back,” Jones said. “Frankly, when they would score, I wanted to answer them. I was for the aggressiveness that we showed in the [second] half.”

Asked if he thinks Romo has too much latitude in the offense, Jones responded with a firm: “No. I don’t. Not at all.”

So what happened on the two interceptions?

“You could make a case for just execution,” Jones said. “You really had three different kinds of plays and three different circumstances. You get a little more loop on the ball to the interception that occurred when it was going to Miles Austin. You get that thing up in the air, a little more loop on it and Miles is still running. He had pressure. He called off the tight end coming across because he thought theoretically that would bring another linebacker into the position to throw the ball. … I understand what happened. The ball got in behind him and the guy made a great play.

“The d-backs made plays in the secondary that we needed to have made. We needed a couple of stops like that from our secondary. But I understand that interception.

“The last throw at the end of the ball game, you can look back on it. It was probably one that you could take back and should take back, but still, I understand and I think it’s a toss-up as to who’s at fault there. We just got the ball intercepted and made a bad play. [Cole] Beasley’s got a good reason fro playing the ball the way he did, under the way we read that play, and Romo has a reason for throwing the ball there.”

Cowboys running back DeMarco Murray has been exceptional the last five games, averaging 6.2 yards per carry. He ran 18 times for 134 yards and a touchdown on Sunday. But only three of those carries came in the fourth quarter.

Jones said he understands why Murray would be frustrated by not getting opportunities to run out the clock. But Green Bay loaded the box, so the Cowboys took what the defense gave them.

How did Murray perform on those three fourth quarter runs? Twenty four yards, which included four on first down with 2:58 remaining and the Cowboys ahead 36-31. Romo was intercepted on the next play.

Woot,

Don't sell yourself short.

Your two last were precious, as was your Charlie Manson reference.

case said:

"Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Cowboys fan.["]

That one gets you back on track.

Friend Pete (also an inveterate Cowboys fan) is going to cry when I send him the best of these.

TomR

Google "Dallas Cowboys jokes".

OK, but how do you know that Woot and I didn't write those originally?

NFL Network is replaying the Game of the Week tonight - you guessed it, the Cowboys/Packers game!

I didn't see the first half so I'm genuinely curious to watch the entire game tonight. 9PM.

tjohn said:

Google "Dallas Cowboys jokes".

Here's a good one:
Q: What's the difference between the Cowboys and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34

How do you keep the Dallas Cowboys off of your property?

Put up goal posts.

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ml1 said:

tjohn said:

Google "Dallas Cowboys jokes".

Here's a good one:
Q: What's the difference between the Cowboys and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34

In fairness, thats an old joke that applies to all losing football teams.

Its like old college jokes. For example, you can use this for any college:

Q: What do you get when you drive slowly through Tuscaloosa (or Gainesville, or Columbus, etc)
A: A Diploma

I am sure if you Google "Jets jokes" you will also get a 4 quarters joke.


Try fnding the Charlie Manson joke on line...

Does anyone think that Aikman knows what he is laughing at in that photo? He has suffered more head trauma than Wile E. Coyote.

Woot,

As I wrote above, I think the Charlie Manson quip was one of the more inspired.

Give me more. Friend Pete is tearing his hair out.

TomR

http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nfljokes/dallascowboysjokes.html

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bashing-the-Dallas-Cowboys-Page/143909649084411

http://www.angelfire.com/me/philadelphia/cowboysjokes.html



It goes on and on and on. How odd that "America's Team" is so universally hated.

A man walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. He noted a dog intently watching an Eagles-Cowboys game. Whenever the Eagles scored, the dog would jump onto the bar and do an animated dance. This happened over and over as the Eagles scored again and again. At the end of the game, the dog let out a loud howl and ran out of the bar. The man thought this was pretty unusual and said to the bartender, "Gee, that's amazing. What happens when the Cowboys win?" The bartender replied, "I don't know- the dog's only four years old."

Q. Why doesn’t Fort Worth have a professional football team? A. Because then Dallas would want one

Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common? A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road


Jason Garrett is reportedly only dressing 40 players for this Sunday's game. The rest of them will need to dress themselves this time.

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last one tonight

You guys are killing me. Practically spit out my drink... "Then Dallas would want one." Gold.

I have to say the story about the dog had me laughing.

I can't STAND the Cowboys, so I'm enjoying this!

Carry on…

Since we're piling on…