What would you do?

Danna

So my high school daughter told me she saw a drug deal go down about a block from school.  I know, probably nothing new.  At one point, we knew the parents.  Wondering if we should contact them at all of course swearing them to anonymity for our daughter.  What would you do?  


sarahzm

Your primary responsibility is to your daughter.   Did she tell you this in confidence ?  If so, you must honor that.   If you feel compelled to contact the parents you need to discuss it with your daughter first and get her to agree, or failing that, at least let her know what you are doing.    And if you swear the parents to anonymity, are you completely sure they will honor that.   If you break your daughter's confidence she wont trust you any more.   I don't think a corner drug deal is a strong enough reason to risk that. 


Tom

Legal penalties can be out of proportion to some of these crimes. I would let it go.


Eliz

It would depend on how well I knew the parents. If the kids were close friends of my child's, have been to my house, I've been to theirs, I would consider it and only with my child's blessing. If it's "at one time I knew the parents" no. I'd remind my kid the consequences of being involved with drugs and leave it alone. 


apple44

People will absolutely disagree on this, but I think there's a difference between a drug like marijuana and heavier stuff. If it's the heavier stuff, I'd talk to the parents. If pot, not sure.


DaveSchmidt

Would the parents here want to know if it was their kid, even from only a passing acquaintance, and even if it was only weed?


Eliz

Fair point well made. 

DaveSchmidt said:

Would the parents here want to know if was their kid, even from only a passing acquaintance, and even if it was only weed?



bub

which side of the deal was the kid on?


Eliz

Then again, no good deed goes unpunished. Shoot the messenger comes to mind. 


conandrob240

was the "drug deal" a teen buying a bit of marijuana from another student?

Or are talking a brick of heroin from some shady, older (non student) drug dealer to sell to others?

Lots of details missing here.


Danna

Student to student.  Will leave it alone.  Thanks for the sounding boards.


sprout

I would take my own kid out of it and tell the other kid's parents "I was driving by, and can't be sure, but I thought I saw your child.... ".

As a parent I'd want that heads-up. 


cubby

Agree that your responsibility is to your daughter; what does she want you to do?? Likely, not call the students' parents. If you were to call them, how likely is it that your daughter's name gets out? I say"very." Parents will be more concerned with heir child, not your's. I would 100% stay out of this.


joan crystal

Teaching moment.  Agree decision should be your daughter's.  If this were my child, I would be discussing with her what she saw, how she felt about it, and what if anything she thinks needs to be done about it.  I would not get involved directly in reporting what she saw to anyone (the decision and act of reporting need to come from her),since at best I would be reporting hear say information and be unable to supply what could be important details.  I would leave the parents you knew at one time out of it; nor would I take it upon myself to speak with the person your daughter saw involved in what she concluded was a drug buy. 

If she saw what she thinks she saw, and by high school she most likely is able to identify a drug buy when she sees one, she has witnessed an illegal act, the severity of which depends on facts not presented on this thread:  who was involved, what was being sold, how many other customers the seller has, degree of danger drugs being sold present (some street drugs can be deadly, others have been proven to pose serious harm to the user). If she feels that this incident is serious enough to merit some action on her part, this needs to be reported to the school system (if one or more students from the school district were involved) and to the police (Maplewood or South Orange depending on the town in which the incident observed took place). In both cases, the report should be able to be made anonymously if that is her preference. 


jersey_boy

Why do you think your daughter told you?


spontaneous

Where the hell were all these drug dealers when I was in high school? Aftern watching 21 Jump Street I was VERY disappointed when I got to CHS and we didn't have dealers in every bathroom selling whatever our hearts desired.

I had to go through a friend of a college aged friend to get my pot.




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