Quiet Car

does the quiet car mean no noise at all? I know most posts about this are usually about loud people in quiet car but mine is the opposite.

Got a massive bloody nose on train today. I fumbled around in my bag looking for a napkin. Then asked, in a whisper, the person across from me if she had a tissue. She gave me a napkin and quietly asked if a I also needed Purell. A guy literally 3 rows behind us jumps up, walks over and yells in our faces- this is the quiet car! Really? So the blood all over my hands didn't make you stop? And is a whispered word or two really not ok in the quiet car? I thought the sign said specifically keep conversation hushed and to a minimum, not- you are not allowed to make a single sound. Jerk. (And of course, I wore a white blouse and gave a workshop to lead!)

Yes, you are allowed to whisper. People always take it too far. Sorry about your experience. That sounds terrible. 

The (self-appointed) quiet car enforcement squad always made me uncomfortable. 

conandrob240 said:
A guy literally 3 rows behind us jumps up, walks over and yells in our faces- this is the quiet car!

The gentleman was unclear on the concept.

You were okay, he was a jerk.

[Edited to add] His behavior is like the classic line from "Dr. Strangelove", when the President says, "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room."

Compounding the problem, it was an early train and people are always a little extra grumpy.

RobB said:
The (self-appointed) quiet car enforcement squad always made me uncomfortable. 

I avoid the quiet car for this very reason.  The regular cars during rush hour are quiet enough for me.  The non-rush hour trains are filled with noisy people, and of course those DON'T have quiet cars.

The quiet car seems so simple to me. If you want to have a conversation during your train ride, sit in one of the other cars. The quiet car is not the place for a running discussion, even if you are whispering. A whispered conversation is just as annoying to somebody trying to read or be alone with their thoughts. It's easy: if you want to chat, go to another car. I'll never understand why people get all angry and hostile about this. The quiet car is for people who don't want to hear other people talking. Have a little consideration and take your conversation--yes, even if it's whispered--to another car. 

THAT SAID, the quiet car is not some kind of absolute cone of silence that must never be violated on pain of death. You are perfectly entitled to make human sounds--including speech--should unforeseen or urgent circumstances require. In this instance, you seem to have encountered a person with some sort of mental illness. Sorry you had to deal with that. Most of us in the quiet car are perfectly reasonable people who just enjoy a little peace on either end of our day.

but that's why I stay out of the quiet car.  There may be only one person out of a thousand on the train who has a pathological need for complete silence.  But where is that one person going to be -- in the quiet car of course.

I had to sit next to this guy on the quiet car once. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vRiA91O14U

ml1 said:
but that's why I stay out of the quiet car.  There may be only one person out of a thousand on the train who has a pathological need for complete silence.  But where is that one person going to be -- in the quiet car of course.

I have witnessed all manner of psycho train behavior over the years: in the quiet car, in the regular cars, on the platform, inside the station in the ticket line, in Penn Station, etc. I suppose if you're only worried about avoiding the complete-silence loons then you can solve that problem by avoiding the quiet car, but in my experience there are crazies everywhere, and I'd rather enjoy the silence for the 99 percent of the time that things run smoothly. 

http://www.njtransit.com/sa/sa_servlet.srv?hdnPageAction=CustomerNoticeTo&NoticeId=2247

Quiet Commute Etiquette
Refrain from cell phone use
Disable sound feature on mobile devices and laptops
Conduct conversations in subdued voices
Maintain low headphone volume to avoid distracting other passengers.

Quiet Commute is an effort to balance the needs of those customers who wish to stay connected with those who want to relax orwork in a quiet atmosphere without distractions. Customers riding in quiet cars are asked to refrain from cell phone use and disable the sound feature on mobile devices and laptop computers. Conversations should be conducted in subdued voices and headphones should be used at a volume that cannot be heard by other passengers.

imonlysleeping said:

ml1 said:
but that's why I stay out of the quiet car.  There may be only one person out of a thousand on the train who has a pathological need for complete silence.  But where is that one person going to be -- in the quiet car of course.

I have witnessed all manner of psycho train behavior over the years: in the quiet car, in the regular cars, on the platform, inside the station in the ticket line, in Penn Station, etc. I suppose if you're only worried about avoiding the complete-silence loons then you can solve that problem by avoiding the quiet car, but in my experience there are crazies everywhere, and I'd rather enjoy the silence for the 99 percent of the time that things run smoothly. 

I get it.  But 99% of the time during rush hour the regular car I'm in is quiet.

Quiet Car denizen here. I always wear headphones and keep them low, and I'm happy that I can keep them low because the car is mostly quiet. I'm totally cool with some hushed conversation, and sometimes when someone HAS to take a phone call, if they keep it down and keep it short, that's cool. My minor pet peeve is that many people leave their phone ringers on instead of switching to vibrate, oh and the few who have their headphones turned up so loud I can hear them over the music on my in-ear headphones.

In general though, it's made the whole thing a much more pleasant experience for people like me who just want to listen to a bit of Jon Hopkins while I read or write.

thanks. Three other people saw this and made a comment to me about the guy and asked if I was ok so that was nice. One woman handed me her whole package of tissues and patted me on the back. They made up for the jerk.

I usually avoid it too. It was the train from Newark penn to NY and I ran to catch it and just jumped on where the stairwell put me so that's how I wound up there. 

@jamie:  can you make an emoticon that signifies "I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this crap any more"?  I can use it for so many threads on MOL!  

I avoid the quiet car because it stresses me out. But I still would prefer a relatively quiet commute. However, I find some commuters in the non-quiet car use the train as their personal office/living room - conducting long, audible conversations on the phone. I don't mind people riding together having a conversation. But for some reason, a person having a drawn out conversation on their phones seems rude. 

You all are lucky. Try riding the NE Corridor. M&E regular cars are MUCH quieter than NE Corridor quiet cars... Cretins.

I commute to and from the city every day, and I don't ride in the quiet cars and I can count on one hand the number of times in a year that I'm annoyed by people being loud.  I agree that the M&E cars are generally very civilized during rush hour.

Outside of rush hour, not so much.  All the cell phone yakkers seem to like to get on trains around 10 or 11 am.

I found the difference between the quiet and non-quiet cars to be so subtle that it took me a few months to realize there was one.

qrysdonnell said:
I found the difference between the quiet and non-quiet cars to be so subtle that it took me a few months to realize there was one.

The difference is that when some a$$hole starts gabbing away in the quiet car, people can nicely ask them to be quiet or take it to another car. When the same a$$hole starts gabbing in the other cars, all you can do is sit there and be annoyed. Or move to the quiet car, of course! It's a simple system that most people understand and follow. It works great almost all of the time. I don't understand why people get so stressed about it. If you want quiet, sit in the quiet car. If you want to talk, sit in the other cars. What's so difficult? Why is it stressful? It's easy, it works, it's not a big deal. 

True, the M&E trains cars have a general quietness to them. But that also means when one person is having an audible conversation on a cell phone, it seems amplified. Ditto for loud headphones. I was a culprit myself once and it took another passenger telling me she could hear my music for me to realize my music resonated in the hushed car. Oops, sorry.....

imonlysleeping said:

qrysdonnell said:
I found the difference between the quiet and non-quiet cars to be so subtle that it took me a few months to realize there was one.

The difference is that when some a$$hole starts gabbing away in the quiet car, people can nicely ask them to be quiet or take it to another car. When the same a$$hole starts gabbing in the other cars, all you can do is sit there and be annoyed. Or move to the quiet car, of course! It's a simple system that most people understand and follow. It works great almost all of the time. I don't understand why people get so stressed about it. If you want quiet, sit in the quiet car. If you want to talk, sit in the other cars. What's so difficult? Why is it stressful? It's easy, it works, it's not a big deal. 

It would be so much better if NJ Transit's employees (the conductors) actually enforced NJ Transit's Quiet Car rules, rather than making a rule and expecting its customers to enforce it.  AND it would help if they put Quiet Car signs in the quiet cars (or put those business cards on the seats).  I've seen them on Hoboken trains, but very very rarely on Penn Station trains.  But then again, I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for NJ Transit to do anything smart.

What I'm saying is that no one talks in any of the cars. There's no asking anyone to stop, since no one starts. In nine months I've only heard maybe one or two conversations during my commute.

imonlysleeping said:

qrysdonnell said:
I found the difference between the quiet and non-quiet cars to be so subtle that it took me a few months to realize there was one.

The difference is that when some a$$hole starts gabbing away in the quiet car, people can nicely ask them to be quiet or take it to another car. When the same a$$hole starts gabbing in the other cars, all you can do is sit there and be annoyed. Or move to the quiet car, of course! It's a simple system that most people understand and follow. It works great almost all of the time. I don't understand why people get so stressed about it. If you want quiet, sit in the quiet car. If you want to talk, sit in the other cars. What's so difficult? Why is it stressful? It's easy, it works, it's not a big deal. 

mumstheword said:

imonlysleeping said:

qrysdonnell said:
I found the difference between the quiet and non-quiet cars to be so subtle that it took me a few months to realize there was one.

The difference is that when some a$$hole starts gabbing away in the quiet car, people can nicely ask them to be quiet or take it to another car. When the same a$$hole starts gabbing in the other cars, all you can do is sit there and be annoyed. Or move to the quiet car, of course! It's a simple system that most people understand and follow. It works great almost all of the time. I don't understand why people get so stressed about it. If you want quiet, sit in the quiet car. If you want to talk, sit in the other cars. What's so difficult? Why is it stressful? It's easy, it works, it's not a big deal. 

It would be so much better if NJ Transit's employees (the conductors) actually enforced NJ Transit's Quiet Car rules, rather than making a rule and expecting its customers to enforce it.  AND it would help if they put Quiet Car signs in the quiet cars (or put those business cards on the seats).  I've seen them on Hoboken trains, but very very rarely on Penn Station trains.  But then again, I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for NJ Transit to do anything smart.

I love how NJT conductors disappear except to take tickets. Where do they go? Do the have some hidden chamber? Or an invisibility cloak?

mumstheword said:
It would be so much better if NJ Transit's employees (the conductors) actually enforced NJ Transit's Quiet Car rules, rather than making a rule and expecting its customers to enforce it.  AND it would help if they put Quiet Car signs in the quiet cars (or put those business cards on the seats).  I've seen them on Hoboken trains, but very very rarely on Penn Station trains.  But then again, I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for NJ Transit to do anything smart.

imonlysleeping said:
The quiet car seems so simple to me. If you want to have a conversation during your train ride, sit in one of the other cars. The quiet car is not the place for a running discussion, even if you are whispering. A whispered conversation is just as annoying to somebody trying to read or be alone with their thoughts. It's easy: if you want to chat, go to another car. I'll never understand why people get all angry and hostile about this. The quiet car is for people who don't want to hear other people talking. Have a little consideration and take your conversation--yes, even if it's whispered--to another car. 

Rob_Sandow said:

mumstheword said:
It would be so much better if NJ Transit's employees (the conductors) actually enforced NJ Transit's Quiet Car rules, rather than making a rule and expecting its customers to enforce it.  AND it would help if they put Quiet Car signs in the quiet cars (or put those business cards on the seats).  I've seen them on Hoboken trains, but very very rarely on Penn Station trains.  But then again, I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for NJ Transit to do anything smart.

imonlysleeping said:
The quiet car seems so simple to me. If you want to have a conversation during your train ride, sit in one of the other cars. The quiet car is not the place for a running discussion, even if you are whispering. A whispered conversation is just as annoying to somebody trying to read or be alone with their thoughts. It's easy: if you want to chat, go to another car. I'll never understand why people get all angry and hostile about this. The quiet car is for people who don't want to hear other people talking. Have a little consideration and take your conversation--yes, even if it's whispered--to another car. 

Yes to both.  It's a simple concept which works if people respect the rules and the conductors enforce the rules. 

But we're talking about too many self-absorbed, entitled pr* cks that ride the trains.

qrysdonnell said:
What I'm saying is that no one talks in any of the cars. There's no asking anyone to stop, since no one starts. In nine months I've only heard maybe one or two conversations during my commute.

I've ridden the trains for many many years, since before the Quiet Cars were instituted, and I can tell you about the extremely loud, extremely personal cell phone conversations I was forced to endure in the non-Quiet Cars.  It depends on the train and definitely the luck of the draw.  I wish you continued good luck.

who talks on the phone nowadays?

ml1 said:
who talks on the phone nowadays?

That's what I'd like to know! I try to avoid it as much as possible but some people are glued to it. The word I hate the worst when I am sitting on the quiet car is, "Hey!" That means someone is sitting down for a long chat. Ugh!

it's the quiet car, not the silent car. That guy has issues... Glad others were more pleasant.