Question about an aggressive driver

I had a very aggressive driver blow his horn at me when I didn't merge fast enough for him at the Maplewood exit on 78E.  After we both merged he then proceeded to slow to a snails pace, roll down his window and give me the finger.  He also took a picture of my license plate I assume to intimidate me.  Can he figure out my home address from my license plate?  I'm assuming no but this whole thing really has me shaken.  I had my toddler in the car with me and I really try to be a vigilant and safe driver.  


If he has access to DMV records yes but I’m sure they were just being an a hole. They probably went on to annoy someone else. NJ driving gives plenty of opportunity for that. 


Yes, my guess he was annoyed for a minute and has now forgotten about the whole thing, looking for something else to be annoyed about.


IIRC: I read a 'helpful tip' guide from previous foreign students to new foreign students. One tip was not to worry about being honked at and have a finger waved at them when driving saying supportively: "It's just the way Americans say 'Hello'".


Awful experience. The vast, vast, VAST probability is that this clown is an ineffectual nut who has pulled this move daily. I would not lose sleep over him. You were not a special target of his idiocy. The world is. If he did want to come after you, you’re the latest entry in a very, very long list.


If he managed to run your plate that would mean he’s in government or has someone in government to do it for him. Those searches are logged. He’d leave a footprint, and if he got caught doing it, he’d go to jail. The state does not have a sense of humor in regards to using state resources for the purpose of harassing people.


Should you take note if you see his car on your street? Sure. But you won’t.







You should have taken a picture of his car and report him.


Jaytee said:
You should have taken a picture of his car and report him.

Nope.  Just concentrate on safe driving and let him get away from you.  If you are in a bad situation the last thing you need to do is try to reach for your phone.  Let him have his heart attack.


FilmCarp said:


Jaytee said:
You should have taken a picture of his car and report him.
Nope.  Just concentrate on safe driving and let him get away from you.  If you are in a bad situation the last thing you need to do is try to reach for your phone.  Let him have his heart attack.

 Yep. Precious cargo on board too. No time to get into a bigger situation with a person who has probably unlimited reserves of stupid.


In situations, I make a big smile and give a friendly wave. They may think I'm clueless, and that could be useful. It could even diffuse the situation. Or is the word defuse?


Tom_Reingold said:
In situations, I make a big smile and give a friendly wave. They may think I'm clueless, and that could be useful. It could even diffuse the situation. Or is the word defuse?

I would generally avoid eye contact in a case like this - feign obliviousness.  I would not credit a person exhibiting road rage with any sort of rationality.


sorry this happened. More than likely he was just momentarily angry and will cool down. That stuff is really scary. I agree that not engaging or taking a pic of an enraged person is a good idea. Hope people can calm down on the roads. 


Thanks all - logically I know unless he works for the DMV or somehow knows someone he can't find my address.  I was just so shaken that I wanted to be reassured.  However, I've lived in NJ all my life so I'm used to ***hole drivers and NEVER had someone behave so aggressively towards me on the road. My hands were shaking. I actually drove around on Springfield close to the Maplewood police station just to make sure he didn't follow me home which I've never had to do.  It didn't help that I was coming home alone with my 2 year old and my DH on a business trip.  


Do not mess with an aggressive driver. If you can, pull over and let them speed away to wherever they are going. A colleague who drives slowly and cautiously had an aggressive driver behind him and he slowed down even further to “teach him a lesson”. The driver proceeded to bash into his car from behind and made a quick turn. $2k worth of damage.


I've always wished that cops would pay more attention to aggressive drivers. I see drivers make lane change after lane change so that they can gain a couple of hundred feet on the highway. That's a lot more dangerous than some guy sitting in the left lane doing 80. It's just crazy.


drummerboy said:
I've always wished that cops would pay more attention to aggressive drivers. I see drivers make lane change after lane change so that they can gain a couple of hundred feet on the highway. That's a lot more dangerous than some guy sitting in the left lane doing 80. It's just crazy.

 All the time. Like they’re in a slalom. I think the cops figure pulling them over causes an even bigger hazard... the “omg look flashy lights let me mash my brakes and stare” crowd.


God forgive me, but I often express a fervent wish that when they go it’s a single car crash with no passengers. It’s breathtaking how much risk some are willing to take with other people’s lives for nothing. Absolutely nothing.


And remember, if you are being followed by an aggressive driver, you can use cell phone voice activation to call 911 and report that you are concerned.


Jackson_Fusion said:


drummerboy said:
I've always wished that cops would pay more attention to aggressive drivers. I see drivers make lane change after lane change so that they can gain a couple of hundred feet on the highway. That's a lot more dangerous than some guy sitting in the left lane doing 80. It's just crazy.
 All the time. Like they’re in a slalom. I think the cops figure pulling them over causes an even bigger hazard... the “omg look flashy lights let me mash my brakes and stare” crowd.


God forgive me, but I often express a fervent wish that when they go it’s a single car crash with no passengers. It’s breathtaking how much risk some are willing to take with other people’s lives for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

It looks like you, me and my son would have a grand time driving the highway together. Critiquing driving technique is like a hobby of ours. It just boggles our mind sometimes how drivers can be as clueless as they are - and it's a miracle that there aren't more accidents on the roads.

And (sotto voce) I've had those same thoughts regarding their demise.


I recommend making the universal gesture for "you're crazy" by twirling your index finger next to your temple.



yahooyahoo said:
I recommend making the universal gesture for "you're crazy" by twirling your index finger next to your temple.


 That assumes the driver is a Republican.


drummerboy said:


Jackson_Fusion said:

drummerboy said:
I've always wished that cops would pay more attention to aggressive drivers. I see drivers make lane change after lane change so that they can gain a couple of hundred feet on the highway. That's a lot more dangerous than some guy sitting in the left lane doing 80. It's just crazy.
 All the time. Like they’re in a slalom. I think the cops figure pulling them over causes an even bigger hazard... the “omg look flashy lights let me mash my brakes and stare” crowd.


God forgive me, but I often express a fervent wish that when they go it’s a single car crash with no passengers. It’s breathtaking how much risk some are willing to take with other people’s lives for nothing. Absolutely nothing.
It looks like you, me and my son would have a grand time driving the highway together. Critiquing driving technique is like a hobby of ours. It just boggles our mind sometimes how drivers can be as clueless as they are - and it's a miracle that there aren't more accidents on the roads.

And (sotto voce) I've had those same thoughts regarding their demise.

 I do a lot of talking and muttering behind the wheel which isn’t really apparent to me except when my spouse is in the car. She’s not a fan but I think my muttering keeps a lid on my bad behavior. 


There’s a pretty good chance if you me and your kid rolled together we’d go full Immortan Joe. 


Yes, sometimes I dream of having a gattling gun attached to my hood.


From “If I Had a Million” — wherein Alison Skipworth and W.C. Fields, who’ve had their fill of bad drivers, use their windfall to buy a fleet of jalopies so they can run the great snotting road hogs off the asphalt, one by one, without a care.



Don't engage.  Don't further antagonize.  Don't even make eye contact.  Make sure your doors are locked.  If they approach your vehicle or try to follow you then either call the police or drive to the nearest police station, but more often than not they'll leave.



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