AITA

Sorry, it posted before I wrote anything.  Please give me a few and I’ll finish my post

Some people and myself went to a restaurant.  Person One asked the server for two empty glasses and holds up an unopened bottle of beer.  Server says okay, and comes back with two empty glasses.  Person One realizes that they don’t have a bottle opener, and asks the server.  She replies that they don’t have any.  No biggie, Person One has one in the car, and retries it.  Person One and Two each now have one beer each.

A few minutes later someone, we assume the manager or an assistant manager, comes over freaking out that they don’t have a liquor license so they can’t serve alcohol.  We can’t have alcohol.  They don’t have a liquor license and can’t serve alcohol.  They can be fined or even shut down.  Makes a big deal about taking away the bottles because they can’t be there.  Says (third time) they don’t have a liquor license and can’t serve alcohol and they could be shut down.  Making a scene to the point that tables around us are starting to look.  It felt like kids being lectured. 

Now had Person One just opened the bottle without asking, I could see the issue.  But he didn’t.  He asked for an empty glass and lifted up the beer bottle to show what it was for.  If the server didn’t know if it was allowed they should have said so and asked THEN.  

If after the server mistakenly gave us the glasses the manager found out and it wasn’t allowed, he should have come over and politely told us that the server was mistaken in giving us the empty glasses.   But freaking out on us and making a scene just left me not wanting to return there.

FWIW we didn’t argue, and just sheepishly sat there being lectured, so it isn’t as though we would be embarrassed to go back for anything we did.  I just don’t want to go back because I don’t feel this is how customers should be treated.

So am I the a55hole?

A restaurant does not need a liquor license for patrons to bring alcoholic beverages.

While it may be a policy of that establishment, the manager should not have lied about the law and he should have been diplomatic towards you regarding the wait person not following the policy. 

He should have only spoken to the wait person as to what the policy is on a go forward basis and let you and your friend enjoy the drink. 

As I understand NJ liquor laws if a restaurant does not have a liquor license patrons can bring beer or wine.  They cannot bring hard liquor to be consumed on the premises although I have seen it done. So it was alright to drink beer. I don't know if the restaurant has their own rules about this.  If so they should have been explained to the patrons and not in an accusatory manner.  

The other thing is that even if a restaurant does not have a liquor license they can sell NJ wines.   

A restaurant can sell NJ wines if it registers as an extension of the sales counter at the winery. As with anything in NJ it can be cumbersome and requires a separate cash register or equivalent from that of the restaurant to maintain the legal fiction that it is the winery selling the wine and not the restaurant. Bistro D'Azur has entered into this with Unionville Vineyards. Very few places do it because of the rules.

It wasn’t even being told that alcohol was not permitted.  It was the manner in which he did so that really pissed me off and makes me not want to come back.  Had he been calm and apologetic and explained that the server made a mistake we probably would have forgotten about the whole thing ten minutes after we finished.

I wasn’t even one of the ones drinking, I’m an unsweetened iced tea person.  But he was freaking out and drawing attention to us.  Person One apparently doesn’t care, but Person Two feels the same way I do and doesn’t want to go back.

If I were in that situation, and I was confident that the person making a scene was indeed management, I'd never return and tell everyone who'd care to listen. 

yeah, the manager is clearly a _______ (many choices here) and does not deserve your repeat business.

Is it a new restaurant? The only possible “pass” fir the owner/manager is if he is truly clueless about the laws and was panicked about the alcohol. If not, then excess just being a jerk and I probably wouldn’t go back 

He may have been ignorant of the law, which I can excuse.  But embarrassing us I’m having a harder time letting go of

Any manager worth their salt should know enough not to create a scene, which he apparently did.

It’s possible he just panicked about the alcohol. Maybe he thought he could get shut down. Was it a new restaurant?

Please explain thread title....

The_Soulful_Mr_T said:

Please explain thread title....

So Am I The A55hole?

Did this incident occur in New Jersey?

The_Soulful_Mr_T said:

Please explain thread title....

 It's a whole thing

I don’t want to name the restaurant, but it is in Hunterdon Co and I believe has been here for a number of years, not new.